Inner Peace

                                                         

Inner Piece

“Twinkle-twinkle little star, so clumsy that it fell

wasn't really meant to live to tell

saved by the angels' bells

mama's scarred knees and holy promises

daddy's energy on premises, while

big sister's waiting at home with Snoopy

And so she gathered all her strength

pulling IVs, leaning against plastic walls of white

knowing she had to cry out for dear life

but that's just not like her at all”

But look, she survived somehow in silence

bleeding unrealized inner radiance

shyly scorning the outside world

that's just calculating what she's worth

"Fellas, it's all about the inner piece,

love, inspiration and imaginings".

At school she paid full attention

to blend in was her intention

but kids said she wasn't normal

the house she drew was so informal

sketched in perspective and not 2D

the roof's not red and there's too much purple ink.

Oh, why are you trying so hard to adapt?

You don't even know why the teacher had you slapped.

Why are you trying so hard to bond?

All the best friends were here to go - and isn't it hilarious

that they were all born under the sign of Aquarius?

Must be like the case with men in Sagittarius.

Growing up was hard on her mentality

torn among her bouquet of personalities

seemed so puzzling and missing a piece.

Is it ok to be cotton candy smile and sweet

while also in seclusion and purple deep

scarlet glam gal rolling in dirt for fun

serious and perfect and a control freak

changing hair colors feeling full of white streaks

But look, she survived somehow in silence

bleeding unrealized inner radiance

shyly scorning the outside world

that's just calculating what she's worth

"Fellas, it's all about the inner piece,

love, inspiration and imaginings".

Hush now, it’s ok, miss Sadness is gone,

she couldn’t convince you did everything wrong

Hush, cause you no longer have to dress

the cloak of the fidgeting dame in distress

- unless there’s a fetish you should not repress!

For you can finally grasp that last piece

feel it and fumble it, persuade you it’s real

- it’s always been there, but now it’s been healed

Human A.I without A.L + Life

 

 

Dismantle

This bunch of gears and cogs and screw-ups,

burned chips and overheated  parts

silicon core instead of carbon

and malfunctioned CPU

Dismantle it

with every touch and glance and breath of you

Dismount my mecha puppet figure

relieve me of the strings attached

make me a real girl, give me a heart that can be crushed

and mortal skin of clay that can be touched and cut and age

for I fear not the human certainty of death or bloodshed

but I resent this android fate of shutting down -

-not having backup of emotions nor sense of tears flowing down

Disassemble me

I made the start, I broke my winder

I overrode my rigid programming of zero-one

help me to stretch my limited horizon wider

erase my former data one by one

Dismantle it

this rusty structure that cannot decay

Please don't delay

Provide me with a vessel I can call a shrine

of soul

able to die outlived by love's mysterious lullaby

Dismantle me

and leave me lying here alive

+

 Life

Holding a colored pencil from my childhood days in hand,

I slowly draw the lines of life I choose,

while flaming strings my heart emits

are gushing through my chest's birth mark

tentatively leading me with force and gentle violence

in paths and avenues I never knew existed.

What glorious perfection, to be a fully capable, alerted mind

within a human puppet's automation - care for a tiny bit frustration?

 

Scar Tissue

 

Regret

The brightest, rarest and most precious

of your childhood's marbles, sliding;

away and fast in sudden certain loss

in a coin's toss.

The sharp and venomous undying words

that spat in evil haste

the mouth belonging to your crawling self

fatally left lingering bitter aftertaste.

While all the lonely hushes

were cowardly left to be gushes of sighs

swallowed with a pint of fear

ironically, they never stopped being whispered in your ear...

And all the honest tearful gazes

altered in most pathetic masks,

aided by pretentious smiles pushing the cracks-

-the plastered grin can't reach the eyes.

The silence in the time of songs;

the wicked stillness when (e)motion is demanded

shaped that hot iron which got you branded

with just one word:

Regret.