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Monday, October 21, 2013

Inner Peace











                                                         




Inner Piece


“Twinkle-twinkle little star, so clumsy that it fell
wasn't really meant to live to tell
saved by the angels' bells
mama's scarred knees and holy promises
daddy's energy on premises, while
big sister's waiting at home with Snoopy
And so she gathered all her strength
pulling IVs, leaning against plastic walls of white
knowing she had to cry out for dear life
but that's just not like her at all”

But look, she survived somehow in silence
bleeding unrealized inner radiance
shyly scorning the outside world
that's just calculating what she's worth
"Fellas, it's all about the inner piece,
love, inspiration and imaginings".

At school she paid full attention
to blend in was her intention
but kids said she wasn't normal
the house she drew was so informal
sketched in perspective and not 2D
the roof's not red and there's too much purple ink.
Oh, why are you trying so hard to adapt?
You don't even know why the teacher had you slapped.
Why are you trying so hard to bond?
All the best friends were here to go - and isn't it hilarious
that they were all born under the sign of Aquarius?
Must be like the case with men in Sagittarius.

Growing up was hard on her mentality
torn among her bouquet of personalities
seemed so puzzling and missing a piece.
Is it ok to be cotton candy smile and sweet
while also in seclusion and purple deep
scarlet glam gal rolling in dirt for fun
serious and perfect and a control freak
changing hair colors feeling full of white streaks

But look, she survived somehow in silence
bleeding unrealized inner radiance
shyly scorning the outside world
that's just calculating what she's worth
"Fellas, it's all about the inner piece,
love, inspiration and imaginings".

Hush now, it’s ok, miss Sadness is gone,
she couldn’t convince you did everything wrong
Hush, cause you no longer have to dress
the cloak of the fidgeting dame in distress
- unless there’s a fetish you should not repress!
For you can finally grasp that last piece
feel it and fumble it, persuade you it’s real
- it’s always been there, but now it’s been healed

















Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Human A.I without A.L + Life








 






Dismantle


This bunch of gears and cogs and screw-ups,

burned chips and overheated  parts

silicon core instead of carbon

and malfunctioned CPU

Dismantle it

with every touch and glance and breath of you

Dismount my mecha puppet figure

relieve me of the strings attached

make me a real girl, give me a heart that can be crushed

and mortal skin of clay that can be touched and cut and age

for I fear not the human certainty of death or bloodshed

but I resent this android fate of shutting down -

-not having backup of emotions nor sense of tears flowing down

Disassemble me

I made the start, I broke my winder

I overrode my rigid programming of zero-one

help me to stretch my limited horizon wider

erase my former data one by one

Dismantle it

this rusty structure that cannot decay

Please don't delay

Provide me with a vessel I can call a shrine

of soul

able to die outlived by love's mysterious lullaby

Dismantle me

and leave me lying here alive






+

 Life




Holding a colored pencil from my childhood days in hand,
I slowly draw the lines of life I choose,
while flaming strings my heart emits
are gushing through my chest's birth mark
tentatively leading me with force and gentle violence
in paths and avenues I never knew existed.
What glorious perfection, to be a fully capable, alerted mind
within a human puppet's automation - care for a tiny bit frustration?








 

Scar Tissue







 





Regret


The brightest, rarest and most precious
of your childhood's marbles, sliding;
away and fast in sudden certain loss
in a coin's toss.

The sharp and venomous undying words
that spat in evil haste
the mouth belonging to your crawling self
fatally left lingering bitter aftertaste.

While all the lonely hushes
were cowardly left to be gushes of sighs
swallowed with a pint of fear
ironically, they never stopped being whispered in your ear...

And all the honest tearful gazes
altered in most pathetic masks,
aided by pretentious smiles pushing the cracks-
-the plastered grin can't reach the eyes.


The silence in the time of songs;
the wicked stillness when (e)motion is demanded
shaped that hot iron which got you branded
with just one word:

Regret.